How Death Sparked Drastic Progression and Growth in my life 

When you glanced at your feed today and looked at this title, you probably though something like: “What?” “Is this guy serious?” “How could death (the polar opposite of progression and growth) spark progression and growth at all?

 

Allow me to explain, this is my story.It was September of 2012 when I was still a chemistry major in college (yea I know, big mistake). I was studying in my room when I received a phone call from a dear family friend. He asked me if I was okay and needed anything. Confused by his generosity and sensing by his voice that something was wrong I asked him what he was calling about.

He told me after calling his place of employment to check his schedule, (the same place my father worked) he received news that my father had passed away. My initial reaction was a laugh because I had just spoken to my father the day prior. My father also had no medical conditions and fairly great health throughout his life. He was the type of man that you would never find sick; in fact, I don’t believe he ever broke a bone or had any surgical procedures of any kind in his life time either.

The family friend assured me that he was not joking. I still didn’t believe him, but decided to call my sister just to make sure all was well.

The phone rang about three times, then my sister picks up. “Hello?” Her voice was calm, this instantly made me feel as though everything was okay; certainly if he was dead she would be hysterical, right?

Wrong. She admitted that Daddy was indeed dead and that she was on her way with our neighbors from the east coast of Florida to pick me up (I live about 2.5 hours away from them on the west coast of FL). 

I’ll never forget that moment. I had so many questions, what happened? Where is he? Where is Momma? What are we going to do? How did this happen?

“His body is at the hospital. Momma is Hysterical. I don’t know what we’re going to do Danilo, but I just can’t cry anymore” my sister said.

According to medical examiners he suffered from a massive heart attack that none of us saw coming.

So after moments of grief and explaining what had happened to my roommates, I emailed my professors at Florida Gulf Coast University to explain what had happened and that I would be missing classes for the remainder of the week.

That weekend was a tough one for sure. But one thing was certain, this life event would spark a flame within me that would burn so passionately and cause me to reach what I like to call my “personal version of success”.

So after that week at home I knew two things. I needed money and I needed a plan.

Addressing money, my father made a decent salary which was able to help support me in college. I would pay for all personal expenses but Dad helped with rent and school. This meant that I now had to supply myself with enough money to cover both expenses. Thank goodness my mother was able to cover car payment, insurance and my cell phone bill for the time being. But I also knew that upon graduating I would have to have a job set up so that I could immediately begin making real money to help my mother and fill in the shoes that were now void in my family. This is where the planning came in. I had to figure out what I wanted to do, where I wanted to do it and how I would make it happen. Thank goodness I still had 2 years left in college.

My immediate action was setting up a conversation with my manager at Cole Haan (my place of employment at the time. (Love their shoes by the way, go check them out!!) to discuss an interest in management. Which also meant discussing a pay raise (what I needed). The conversation went well and given that I had already been there for 2 years I ended up being a pretty good fit. So I was then able to pay for my own rent, utilities, credit card payments gas and food. But nothing else, I just had enough for the essentials, but thank God I had that.

Since I easily inherited stress from being broke with no extra money for myself or just for peace of mind at night, I decided to pick up another job in the mall I worked at. I would choose Brooks Brothers as my 2nd employer and used that money to get credit card bills down as well as be able to go out with my friends every once in a while.

The next part of my journey was not a part of the plan at all. I like to believe it was faith or perhaps a miracle. While working what seemed to be like an average day at Cole Haan, an equally average young gentleman came into the store and started to examine some of our leather British tan duffle bags. The bag he was considering was $400, so I approached the guy and started conversation.

Me: “It’s a beautiful bag, I’ve contemplated spending my entire pay check on it before.”

Customer: “It’s really nice, I have a trip I’m preparing for and this looks like the perfect weekend bag”

Me: “Funny, check the tag and you’ll see the name of the bag is actually the weekender.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s pretty funny”

From that conversation I would learn that he was an alumni of my college and a fellow marketing major (that’s what I stuck with after switching to chemistry). He then told me about the company he currently worked for and how they had an internship program he thought I’d be perfect for. He gave me his business card, purchased the bag and left the store.

His name was John and he had no idea that he had just given me the direction I needed which would dictate my future.

The company he worked for was called Gartner Inc. an IT research and advisory firm. It was a great company that paid its employees well and I knew if I could get into that company, I would be able to earn enough to support myself and help my family during this difficult time.

I followed up with John immediately but then had to ask myself…okay now what? How can I put my foot in the door here? How can I ensure that I get this job when I graduate? Mind you I was two years away from graduation at this point. The answer at the time was, “I have no idea”.

So I started where I could and decided to research the company. After reading the “about” section, I still had no clue what the company did nor did I locate any way to apply. So I did the next best thing, I directly called a recruiter.

That’s right, a 20 year old college kid called a recruiter of a company he knew nothing about and asked about a job that he wasn’t qualified for.

To this day, I am so glad I decided to do this.

It turned into a wonderful Q&A session all about Gartner with a woman named Liz. She was great and even told me about a Gartner open house that was happening in the following month, she told me I could learn more about the internship program and even meet the person who was in charge of recruiting for the internship!

Are you kidding me? This is exactly what I needed. A plan was being created without me even knowing it and it felt amazing.

So I attended the open house, met the internship coordinator and applied in January 2014. After 5 intense interviews later, I was told that I had been accepted as an Intern and would begin in June.

I was ecstatic. This is exactly what I wanted and knew that if I crushed it in this internship, I could land a full time job after graduation.

I worked my butt off and built a positive brand at the company. People knew me as the sharply dressed kid who could get meetings and sounded good on the phone. My managers gave me positive feedback after all of the tests we had undergone and I was certain that I was in a good position to get the job. But I never acted like it was secure, I knew that at any moment if I slipped up I would risk all of the work that I had done thus far and I wasn’t going to let that happen.

Fast forward to the end of the internship. I’m now at the career development office at Florida Gulf Coast University, meeting with the internship coordinator there to discuss the details of the internship. I had still not heard from Gartner on whether or not I received a job offer. Then in mid discussion on the job duties of the internship my phone rang. I stepped outside to take the call.

It was Natalie. The internship coordinator who I met at the open house one year prior. She told me she would like to have the pleasure of extending a full time job offer.

I almost dropped the phone. I started crying. I had accomplished my mission. I went from a troubled kid who had no idea how he would crawl out from a devastating death that gave the family financial woes, to someone who had just landed a full time job with a great company and be financially secure moving forward.

This is my story.

I honestly have no idea where I would be or what I would be doing if my father was still alive. I credit his death and the insurmountable stress and worry it caused which left me with no choice but to succeed or fail entirely.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the read. Please comment, like or share if you found the content valuable 🙂

The true meaning of “I don’t have time” & how to make time.

In our society and particularly in America, it has become the norm to never have time. You might also find it common to hear friends and colleagues complain about their lack of time, often wishing for more time in the day to complete all of their tasks.

The point is, we’re all complaining about time. But what are we really saying?

Here’s what we really mean when we say we have no time.

The things you claim to “never have time for” are actually things that are not important to you.

It’s not that we don’t have time to organize that photo album, call that old friend from high school, or clean the ceiling fan; but those things are less important and lack relevance to our immediate lives.

Let’s say your car breaks down. I strongly believe you’ll find time to fix it. Not because you actually have the time, but because it’s extremely important and relevant to how you get other things done. It’s a priority and there will be bigger consequences if you don’t solve the problem immediately, so you do it.

Why don’t you have time to go to the gym? Because it’s clearly not important to you, that’s why.

Time is an intangible object that we consistently use to rationalize things we never want or care to do.

“I don’t have the time for this”
“I can’t find the time to do it”
“I’m already too short on time”
“I’ll never be able to fit that into my schedule”

Translation: it’s not that important to me and I have other things that I need to do.

That’s it. Plain and simple.

Now how can we make time?

1. Don’t hold yourself back.

Sometimes there are things we truly value, things we really want to see ourselves doing or making time for in the day; but we still don’t do them.

Writing this blog is a perfect example. Since beginning my new job I have not been writing as consistently as I was prior to. I blamed my lack of time in addition to a lack of motivation.

I was lying to myself.

There were tons of things I wished to write about. But I held myself back by making excuses.

I started this blog with a spare 15 minutes from today’s lunch break. You’d be surprised at how many small spare time pockets you have in your day that if utilized, could yield higher task completion and productivity.

2. Prioritize and DONT get distracted.

If you want to get something done, tell yourself. Set reminders on your phone, put it in your calendar, and even write it on your hand if you have to. Do whatever it takes to keep it fresh on your mind and high on your priority list.

Reminding yourself of the importance a task bears will be helpful in creating a focus on that task. If we have one thing on our minds all day, one thing that we can’t wait to do, we will most likely do it as soon as possible. You have to get excited about the task and have an actual desire to get it completed or else you will get distracted.

How many of us just randomly begin scrolling through our news feeds when we actually should be getting work done?

I know it happens to me all the time and probably to you too.

I’m not going to suggest turning off your phone because no one would do that. But if you truly remind yourself of the importance level and create excitement around completing that task, your distractions will not pose a threat because the satisfaction received will outweigh the temporary pleasure delivered to us by scrolling through our social media outlets.

3. Find out where those spare pockets of time exist.

Some of the most common overlooked areas where we waste valuable time are:

1. Lunch breaks
2. Weekends
3. During travel
4. Early mornings
5. Late at night

Lunch breaks are usually dedicated to socializing, but if you look at top performers in any organization they don’t take a full hour or even half hour to eat and then chat with buddies. They eat and then get back to work or use the rest of that time to work on personal tasks.

Weekends. Finally, you don’t have to work and you get some time to relax. Even if you do work on the weekends, you just want to relax when you get home don’t you? Well that’s exactly why you won’t get anything done. Weekends are full of extra time that you can use to get ahead, don’t spend them sleeping away or lounging on the couch, and if you do then you clearly value that relaxation time over completing these tasks that you claim to never have time for.

During travel. Most of the time when you travel, it’s on a road trip or vacation. Well you you are not driving and most certainly if you are flying; bring some work with you. If you’re going to be sitting down for more than 2 hours you might as well make it productive right?

Early mornings. Do. Not. Hit. The. Snooze. Button. It’s a trap. Wake up, go through your morning routine and begin your day. Lounging around or lying in bed contributes nothing to your productivity levels and is a huge hindrance on your ability to execute.

Late at night. There is a clear tradeoff between productivity and sleep. But if you make use of the spare time pockets hidden throughout your day, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice sleep. I go to bed before 10pm every night and still get everything I want done. However, there might be sometimes where you have no choice and need to stay up, in that case you will have to decide what’s most important.